


Off The Rails

by SpicedGold



Series: The Nara Family [12]
Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: Because it had to come from somewhere, Boys cannot be left unsupervised, Gen, Shikadai is not getting involved, Temari's patience is gone, Trains
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 14:14:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19975417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpicedGold/pseuds/SpicedGold
Summary: Okay, yes, maybe Shikamaru was working too much on this particular project, but it's really not the train smash Temari is making it sound like.He doesn't actually need an intervention.





	Off The Rails

Temari was under no illusions that her husband was anything but lazy and the king of procrastinating, but she was ever hopeful that she would return home to at least one chore already done.

Even if it was ‘fed Shikadai something relatively healthy’; that wasn’t too much to ask, was it?

And yet, after the long, tiring journey from Suna back to Konoha, she entered the house to find that it looked like a terrible whirlwind had crashed through it – for once, not her doing.

She found Shikadai in the lounge. He had created a small nest in front of the TV, surrounded by a mass of blankets, a few chocolate wrappers, several empty cups of ramen noodles and still wearing the pajamas she had left him in almost a week before. She hoped he had showered in between.

“Shikadai,” she began, and he jumped at the sound of her voice, head popping up from behind a comic book.

“Mom?” he blinked. “What day is it?”

“Wednesday. Didn’t you have school to go to?”

Shikadai shrugged. “Probably.”

“Have you showered at all since I left?”

“I went swimming.”

Temari took in a deep breath and counted to ten. “Where is your father?”

“In his study,” Shikadai replied, nose back in his comic. He shifted a bit, pushing Shikamaru’s stuffed deer out from under his shoulder, where it rolled to bump into Shikadai’s white, fluffy duck. “He’s been there all week.”

 _Great_ , Temari thought. So neither of them had done anything even remotely useful.

“Shikamaru!” she yelled, storming through the house.

The door to Shikamaru’s study was half open, and she kicked it the rest of the way open. “Where are you?”

Shikamaru’s head popped up from behind a table, and he blinked owlishly at her. “Huh?”

“Have you been in here the entire week?” she demanded, crossing her arms. “Did you eat anything? Have you showered? Have you even gone to work?”

“I am working,” Shikamaru claimed, still blinking, as though he had no idea where he was. “Look, I’ve been working on the train.”

‘The train’ had been the source of their last five arguments – since Naruto and Shikamaru had decided to install tracks all around Konoha the two of them had been putting in late nights for almost a month. After Temari had screamed at him to ‘come home and fucking stay there for longer than an hour’, Naruto had had the bright idea of letting Shikamaru take the entire folder of train plans home.

And then Shikamaru, after bouncing around with engineers for a week, had decided to build a model train set to see how it would work.

“It’s for planning,” he had claimed. “Conceptualizing.”

It had turned out to be more than planning. Shikamaru, seized by some sort of childish whimsy, had not only built a tiny train, but an entire village for it to cruise around.

The table separating him and Temari at this moment had a small rendition of the village on it, with several other tables gathered around as Shikamaru’s model had expanded, and he was caught in the act of erecting tiny trees.

The train was currently stationary, but Temari noted it had an extra three carriages attached to it since she had left.

“When last did you eat something?”

“Shikadai ordered in food,” Shikamaru shrugged.

“What day was that?”

“Sunday,” he answered surely.

“What day is it today?”

Shikamaru hesitated. “. . . Monday?”

“No.”

“. . . Tuesday . . .?”

“Still no.”

Shikamaru fell silent then, pausing with a tube of glue in one hand and a tree in the other. He thought hard for a while. “. . . Is it Wednesday?”

“Yes. It is.” Temari sighed. “Go and shower. I’ll make something for dinner.”

Shikamaru glanced at the table. “But I’m building a forest.”

“Shower, or I’ll tear it down like every other forest I’ve come across.”

Shikamaru made a pained expression, but he put his things down. “Okay, fine. I’m going.”

He slunk past her, giving her an unimpressed look as he passed.

“And for god’s sake, _shave_! You look like you’ve been homeless for weeks!”

The first time the train had been mentioned, Shikamaru had been cautious. He tempered down Naruto’s enthusiasm, he asked all the right questions, he grilled the engineers until he understood every single aspect.

He considered it from all angles, the pros and cons, thinking through every possible result, just like he usually did. He talked it over with other people, and pored over the plans.

Temari longed for the days when he had been cautious about the prospect of advancing technology and infrastructure. The model hadn’t been a bad idea – Naruto had hoped it might help convince some of the older generations, who made loud protests at the idea of giant metal monsters roaring all around the village, that the train was a good idea.

It probably _would_ convince them if they could ever get it back into the Hokage building – except Shikamaru had built himself into his study. From a small circular track, with a little train being pushed around it, to several tables of painstakingly sculpted areas, the study now resembled a miniature village.

“Here’s our home,” Shikamaru pointed out. “And there’s Naruto’s.”

“The train doesn’t go near us,” Shikadai said, frowning. “So why’d you build our house?”

“Setting the scene,” Shikamaru replied. “So people can see how it fits into the village. There’s an extra carriage on the train. See, it’s here at the station.” Shikamaru wiggled the train back and forth on the tracks. “Fun, huh?”

“I guess,” Shikadai shrugged. “Can I go now?”

“Don’t you want to play with it?”

“Mom keeps muttering things about trains and cold-blooded murder under her breath, so, no thanks, I don’t wanna get involved.” Shikadai held up both hands in surrender. “Nice knowing you.”

“She doesn’t mean it,” Shikamaru called after his retreating son. “She won’t actually kill you for having fun.”

“That’s what you said about paintball, and I’m not falling for it twice.” Shikadai called back nonchalantly.

He passed Temari as he went through the lounge. “Dad says you never follow through on threats.”

“Stop throwing gas on a fire, Shikadai, and finish your homework,” Temari didn’t look up from sorting out the lump of blankets on the floor. “He’s not stupid enough to say that.”

Shikadai shrugged. “I might be paraphrasing.”

“Homework,” she said warningly, and Shikadai made a swift exit before she raised her voice.

After a few minutes, Temari went to the study to see what Shikamaru was up to.

She stood in the doorway, with Shikadai’s toy duck, and Shikamaru’s deer, and a blanket under her arm from a brief walk through of the lounge, trying to gather up parts of Shikadai’s nest. When Shikamaru didn’t look up from squinting at a spirit level on the train tracks, she rolled her eyes.

“Duck.”

“Wha-“ Shikamaru didn’t have time to do anything but close his eyes as Temari hurled his deer at him, and it bounced merrily off his face.

Shikamaru sent her an unimpressed look. “Firstly, that was mean. Don’t throw him. Second, he’s a deer, not a duck.”

“Did you do any of the housework I asked you to do?”

He cocked his head. “Was any of it building a miniature village?”

“If there wasn’t a table between us, I’d punch you in the nose.”

“That’s _why_ there’s a table between us,” he smirked, “I’m one step ahead of you, Tem.”

When she just raised an eyebrow, he added hastily, “I’ll do it, I just wanted to finish a building first. I’m still working, I promise. This is just . . . I’m just doing the train in my spare time.”

“And when do I get to do you in my spare time?” Temari asked archly.

“You’re always so troublesome, and in such a bad mood when you get back from Suna,” Shikamaru sighed. “Fine, fine, I won’t do anything else with the train tonight.”

“Good. Shikadai needs help with his homework.” Temari waited until Shikamaru nodded before she turned to leave the study. “One more thing.”

“Yeah?”

“Duck.”

At least this time it was a duck that hit him in the face.

Temari was toying with the idea of setting the study on fire and hauling her husband out before he caught aflame (Or at least shortly after) when there was a tentative knock at the front door. She blinked away her plans of arson, and possibly second-degree murder, and answered, wondering who was visiting.

Hinata stood outside, brow creased in worry.

“Have you seen Naruto-kun?” Hinata asked anxiously. “He wasn’t in his office, and no one’s seen him for a few days. I didn’t think he’d leave the village without telling me, but . . .” She shrugged helplessly.

Temari raised an eyebrow. “Oh, he’s here. Come in.”

Hinata’s expression turned relieved. “Thank you. But why would he be here? He usually lets me know.”

“You are aware of the train plans?” Temari enquired, leading Hinata through the house.

“Yes. But he said Shikamaru was in charge of those.”

“Yes. Thanks for that.” She huffed a bit. “Shikamaru’s been building his useless stupid model train for the past month, and Naruto showed up a few days ago to help. I thought he was going home in between. I assume now he’s been going to the office.”

“He’s been here?” Hinata sounded faintly incredulous. “But why?”

Temari threw the study door open, stepping back so Hinata could be fully regaled with the scene inside.

Naruto’s head snapped up from where he was pushing the train around the tracks, and the constant little ‘choo choo’ noises he had been making stopped abruptly.

Shikamaru did not stop laying new tracks on the other end of the table. “Hey, Tem.”

“Hey. Hinata was wondering where Naruto was,” Temari said dryly.

“Oh,” Naruto’s blue eyes widened. “We were just . . . planning. Planning the train. See, it . . .” He looked down, unconsciously still moving the little carriages back and forth. “. . . Look at it go.”

He smiled, pursing his lips and saying softly, “Choo choo . . .”

Temari thunked her head softly against the doorframe, closing her eyes. “Oh my god . . .”

“Look,” Shikamaru said proudly. “We’re making tracks out of Konoha.” He gestured vaguely at the table. “We’re expanding.”

“Fantastic,” Temari said, and Shikamaru completely missed her sarcasm because he was counting the pieces of tracks still in his hands. “When the train is up and running I’ll be able to use it to flee the village to a better life.”

“In less than a third of the time it would usually take,” Shikamaru added brightly. “Here’s the track to Suna!”

He pointed, beaming at her, looking like a puppy who just learned to come when called.

Temari raised an eyebrow. “The track to Suna ends by abruptly plummeting off the table into the abyss. Should I be reading into that?”

“What? No?” Shikamaru frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing,” she deadpanned. “How long are you going to be playing with trains?”

“We’re working, not playing,” Shikamaru claimed, with the added background noise of Naruto going ‘choo, choo, choo’.

Hinata sent Temari a worried look.

“Naruto,” Temari growled. “Go home.”

“Five more minutes,” Naruto replied instantly, his voice bordering on pleading.

“ _Now_.”

“Please come home,” Hinata said, and that seemed to break through Naruto’s stubbornness. Reluctantly, he edged away from the table, throwing a longing look over his shoulder at the train.

“Don’t build Suna without me,” he pouted at Shikamaru. “I want to help.”

“Bring another table when you come back,” Shikamaru shrugged. “We need to expand.”

Naruto’s face lit up. “Hey, do you think Gaara wants to-“

“Get out of my house,” Temari snapped. “Before I throw you out.”

Naruto ducked behind Hinata, squeaking, “I’m leaving!”

Temari threw a glare at Shikamaru, who blinked at her, wondering why he was being silently scolded.

“What?” he asked.

“When that train is built,” she said stiffly, “I’m going to tie you to the tracks and watch it run you over.”

“It’s ridiculous,” Temari claimed, sitting back in the couch and scowling. “He’s acting like a child. He’s acting worse than a child – we _have_ a child, and he isn’t as interested in that stupid train as Shikamaru is. Come on, he’s a grown man, why is he so obsessed with that stupid toy?”

“Did you just do that entire rant whilst holding two stuffed toy deer?” Ino raised a delicate eyebrow.

“This isn’t mine,” Temari shook the dark deer violently. “He’s _Shikamaru’s_ , and I’m only holding him because Shikadai asked me to.”

“So, the other one is Shikadai’s?” Karui asked.

Temari fell silent, and Ino made a derisive snorting noise.

Karui cocked an eyebrow. “So the argument isn’t so much for Shikamaru playing with toys, just playing with the wrong toys?”

“Are you going to sympathize with me or not?” Temari grumbled. “At least let me know you also have to put up with these special moments of childishness and it’s not just Shikamaru.”

“Chouji plays with Chocho all the time,” Karui said. “He just spreads his childishness out into a healthy, continuous stream. You bully Shikamaru until he’s bottled it up for so long it all explodes in one obsession.”

“That is, after all,” Ino added, “How you got the deer.”

Temari pulled her sandy-coloured deer a bit more protectively against her. “Leave the deer out of it. The issue at hand is the train. Tell me your lesser halves also do strange things like this?”

“Kinda,” Karui said. “But it’s harmless fun.”

“Sai doesn’t like playing with toys,” Ino shrugged. Then, with a wicked smile, she added, “Not that kind, anyway.”

“I’m going to let that go for now because I need to yell at Temari, but we will revisit that sentence later,” Karui said, before rounding on Temari. “What’s wrong with Shikamaru having a hobby, that isn’t just for fun, but also to improve the village? He’s doing something great.”

“He’s painting tiny trees,” Temari replied flatly.

“You are mean to him.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m mean to everyone.”

Ino and Karui traded looks.

“True,” Ino said, “But you know that Shikamaru is the person you’re meant to be the least mean to? He’s your husband? You love him very much?”

“Besides, how much more can he build on that train? He must be finished with the model by now,” Karui pointed out. “So he won’t be working on it for long.”

“The model was finished weeks ago,” Temari said. “He’s built a village to go around it. Which is unnecessary. He’s obsessed with it.”

“Look,” Ino sat back slightly in her seat. “I’m not going to suggest that your childhood warped your perspective of life so badly that any time anyone shows even the slightest inclination to do something even remotely childish you react with unnecessary disdain and anger-“

Temari looked mildly offended.

“- But I will suggest that you only get mad at him because you can’t understand him, and that frustrates you.”

“I didn’t invite you here for your inaccurate psychological insight, Ino, I invited you here because my husband is an idiot and I needed someone to talk to. You assured me that ‘women stick together’ when I first moved here. Step up, Ino, I’m cashing in my ‘sticking together’ now.”

“What do you want us to do?” Karui asked.

“I did consider burning the study, but he keeps a lot of important paperwork in there and it won’t look very accidental if I move it all first, so I’m open to suggestions.”

“Leave him alone to have fun?” Ino suggested. “Not nagging on him all the time might be a nice change of pace for you both.”

“Why are we friends?” Temari wondered.

“Oh, honey,” Ino grinned, “You didn’t have any other options.”

“Let boys be boys,” Karui said dismissively. “He’s not harming anyone.”

“I went to Suna for a week and he stopped feeding my child after three days.” Temari pointed out. “It seems like it might be harming someone.”

“Shikadai is resourceful and clearly still alive,” Ino placated. “As usual, you are over reacting.”

“I don’t overreact.”

“It’s not like this train thing is interrupting anything important,” Ino continued over Temari’s protest. “A bit of missed quality time isn’t the end of the world.”

When Temari just scowled grumpily at her, Ino added, with a flourish, “I wouldn’t lose sleep over it.”

“Psst. Temari. Are you awake?”

She very much wasn’t. Temari shoved her face deeper into her pillow. “Fuck off.”

“Where’s Sandstorm?”

“What?” she hissed, rolling over and blinking into the darkness.

Shikamaru hovered expectantly over her, holding his deer up as way of explanation. “I’m taking photos of giant deer terrorizing the train. Where did you throw Sandstorm? It’s not as much fun with just Forest.”

“Have you been awake this whole time?”

“I have had so much coffee.”

“Come to bed,” she made a lazy swipe for him. “Shikamaru, you bastard, stop with your stupid fantasy land and sleep.”

“I will sleep,” he promised. “But I’m taking photos first. Where did you throw her?”

“I dunno. Somewhere on the floor.” She burrowed under the blankets.

There was a muffled thump, then Shikamaru whispered, “Ow. Wall.”

After a moment of silence, he added, “Found her. I’ll be right back.”

A much louder thud followed, by the whispered explanation of, “Ow. Cupboard.”

Temari stuck her head under her pillow, and went back to sleep.

She found Shikamaru passed out on the study floor, snoring merrily away, with Sandstorm as a pillow, and Forest held in his arms. She should have let him sleep, since she knew he had been up most of the night. She should have left him peacefully wasting the morning away, since he didn’t have anything urgent to work on.

She should have laid a blanket over him and done all those other things nice people do.

Instead, she picked up the train and its long line of stupid little carriages, and dropped it on his face.

There was a large, exquisitely rendered diorama spanning one wall of the study, depicting trees and mountains.

“Where did that come from?” Temari asked, blinking in the doorway.

“Sai painted it for me,” Shikamaru said cheerfully. “Ino sent him over to talk to me – something about spending less time working on the train – and he liked the train so much he wanted to add something.”

“I’m pretty sure Sai was the ineffectual start of an intervention.”

Shikamaru blinked. “For what?”

“It makes smoke!” Shikamaru said proudly, gesturing at the train that now chugged around its tracks of its own volition, with a wispy stream of white smoke trailing from the front carriage.

“It looks possessed.”

“Temari, it’s not possessed. The engineers helped me. Now it’s got an engine, and I can make it stop and go with a remote.” He watched the train gleefully. “Naruto’s coming over tomorrow to see it. And Chouji.”

Temari stared at him.

“I can feel you glaring, and I’ll have you know it doesn’t intimidate me,” Shikamaru pointedly didn’t look up.

She didn’t say a word.

“Doesn’t bother me at all. You can stand there as long as you like.” Shikamaru twiddled the remote in his hand. He lasted a mere thirty seconds longer before looking up, voice exasperated, “Woman, what do you want from me?”

“Less train time and more me time.” She crossed her arms, gaze unwavering. “Also, you must be behind on work by now.”

“Only a little, and I’m still ahead of Naruto.” He leaned on the edge of the table, watching the train move. After a pause, he added, “The tracks in the village have started being laid down. And the first train is being built. It’ll be finished soon.”

He flicked his eyes up to hers. “It’s a big achievement.”

“It is,” she agreed. She sighed, “I’m proud of you.”

His head snapped up fully.

“Even if you drive me completely insane, you’re still looking out for your village and helping it be better. You work hard. Don’t think I don’t notice.”

He smiled at her, his gentle, sideways smile. “Thanks.”

“Now,” she said. “Switch the damn train off and come to bed.”

“Dad,” Shikadai stood in the study doorway with his hands in his pockets and a worried frown on his face. “Were you in here all night again?”

“I fell behind, I had a lot of work to do,” Shikamaru muttered, fiddling with something on the table. “Why? Everything okay?”

“Mom’s doing the ‘I’ll stake him out in the desert and throw scorpions on him and move back in with my brothers’ rant under her breath in the kitchen again.” Shikadai heaved a sigh.

“She always gets like that when she comes back from visiting them,” Shikamaru said dismissively. “It’s fine, she just misses them.”

“Well, it sounds like she’s going to murder you.” Shikadai huffed a breath. “Should I start packing for Suna?”

“Don’t be silly; she’s not that angry. Anyway, the train is almost built, I won’t be working this hard for much longer.” Shikamaru held up the train remote. “Want to see it go? It can go at two speeds now.”

“Nah,” Shikadai took a step back. “I don’t wanna be collateral damage when Mom comes here and sees that you are still playing with your train.”

“How mad is she?” Shikamaru asked, feeling slightly suspicious.

Shikadai looked over his shoulder before answering. “On a scale of one to ten . . . About eleven and a half. Well,” Shikadai shrugged, “I’m going to school. If you’re not here when I get home, I’ll comb the desert.”

“Troublesome,” Shikamaru muttered. He turned his attention back to the train, murmuring under his breath as he worked. He jumped slightly when Temari’s voice cut into his thoughts.

“You planning on staying in here all day?” she asked icily.

“Almost done,” he replied, looking up warily. “. . . How are you?”

She cocked an eyebrow.

“Wanna see the train?” he offered cautiously. “It has a fast and a slow setting now. And still makes smoke.”

“Turn it off,” she said softly.

Something in her tone left no room for argument, and Shikamaru did as he was told. Carefully, he put the remote to the side, meeting her eyes over the table. “. . . Are you mad at me?”

“Yes.” Temari crossed her arms.

“. . . What’d I do this time?”

“You’re never home,” she snapped. “And when you are, you stay up late – sometimes don’t even come to bed – what could possibly be so important that you can’t take a moment to spend with your family?”

Shikamaru kept his voice carefully neutral. “Tem, I know I’ve been working a lot, but it’s just until the train is finished-“

“You spent a whole night photographing deer!”

“Okay, yes, that was just for fun, but I was hyped on too much coffee, what else did you want me to do? I had to be awake, I had a lot to do-“

“That’s the point!” she growled. “You have too much to do! You worked non-stop while I was away, you’re still doing it now that I’m home, and I’m sick of it!”

“Okay,” Shikamaru held up both hands. “I promise, as soon as the train is finished, I’ll take some time off. It’s almost done. Just bear with this a few more days-“

“It’s been _weeks_ ,” Temari seethed. “Weeks of you playing with toys.”

“It helps me think,” Shikamaru explained. “I’ve planned everything while building the train. It’s been flawless so far because I haven’t made a single mistake, and I’ve solved every problem before it happened.”

She narrowed her eyes.

“I’ll get the model train out the house the very day the real train takes its first trip around Konoha, I promise. But let me keep it until then, it helps me focus.”

Temari glared at him, clearly weighing her options.

“I’ll make it up to you,” Shikamaru offered carefully. “I know you’re upset because you miss your brothers, and I’m not around for you, but I promise, it’s almost done.”

“You’re a pain in my ass, you know?”

“That’s nothing new,” Shikamaru smiled. “Give me a few days, Tem, and everything will be back to normal.”

“I’m running low on patience,” Temari pointed out.

“That’s also nothing new.” Shikamaru wondered if it was safe to go around the table and approach her. “Trust me, when the train is done, you’ll be happy.”

“I know I will be.”

“Not for that. For other reasons.”

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “What are you scheming?”

“I’m not scheming anything,” Shikamaru said innocently. “I’m just being two hundred steps ahead of you, like always.” He took the chance, moving around the table to stand in front of her. “Come with me to the station when the train arrives. I’ll make it worth your while.”

Temari’s expression softened slightly. “Fine, I’ll go with you. But I’m still mad at you.”

“I’d be worried if you weren’t.”

Shikadai had rolled over in bed and grumbled that it was too early to get up when Shikamaru had tried to wake him.

“Just us,” Shikamaru said, meeting Temari by the front door. “Shikadai’s gone back to sleep.”

“Clearly, he doesn’t think your first train coming into the station is as monumental as you do,” Temari remarked.

They walked side by side down the road.

“It’s pretty monumental,” Shikamaru argued. “It’ll do a lot of good for the village.”

“Yes, however did we survive before a giant metal monster chugged in a small circle around the village?” Temari sent him a sideways look, wondering if he would argue back.

“Troublesome,” was all he muttered.

They reached the station. There were a few people gathered there already, including Naruto, who looked like he had just woken up, and Hinata, who looked like she was trying to wake Naruto the rest of the way, and failing.

“Should be here in a few minutes,” Shikamaru said, finding an open spot on the platform to look down the empty tracks.

“Big day for you,” Temari said. “Did Naruto wrap your train up in a bow, for you to unwrap?”

“No. But, now that you mention it, I got you a present,” Shikamaru said, gesturing vaguely at the train tracks.

“Oh, please tell me it’s a train,” Temari said dryly.

“Bit expensive, and you have been really mean to me lately,” Shikamaru pointed out, and Temari grinned at him.

“In between getting trains dropped on my face, and deer hurled at my head, and being screamed at for doing my job,” Shikamaru listed, and Temari’s grin widened, “I was also liaising with Suna’s engineers. And that’s where this train is coming from.”

“What?” she blinked at him, jaw almost dropping.

“Yeah,” Shikamaru rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, I know you’re mad I’ve been distracted lately. And yeah, I was. Because I was working on this. So you don’t have to make a three day journey anymore to get to your brothers.”

“Did you really make the first train route be to Suna, just for me . . .?”

“I didn’t pitch the idea quite like that, but that was the intent, yes.” He looked away, trying unsuccessfully to hide the faint hint of pink spreading across his cheeks.

For once, though, Temari didn’t call him out on it. She moved to lean against him, her back to his chest, smiling as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. He pressed a kiss against the side of her neck, then rested his chin over her shoulder.

“Here comes your train.”

“So you _did_ get me a train?” she asked teasingly.

“Better than that,” he kissed her neck again. “I brought you two brothers.”


End file.
